About:Bali has a long tradition of Bali Usada, also known as Balinese traditional healing. The Balinese live equally in two worlds: the seen or conscious world called sekala, and the unseen or psychic world, called niskala. In traditional Balinese healing, both of these elements need to be addressed in order to truly heal.
What to expect:The experience will be very public. The healer may make magic, create fire, use mudras, draw patterns on your body & spit wads of chewed herbs on your skin.
Day 14, 09/05/12: Rediscovering Spirit - Bali
Spoke to Ken over lunch about how things had unfolded last night. Specifically the sense of enjoyment and mischief I felt for Ratuniang; maybe a bit of that was for me as well.
We danced again at Ibu's ashram and again Ratuniang entered. I feel she's having more embodied time on this journey than I am. Ha I guess there's a lesson in there for me; to remember to connect with myself freely and deeply; to not squander a moment in life or a cell in body; to be aware and grateful for the whole in all its infinite perfection.
As I danced I was again handed the leaf which made my lips and teeth go numb. The sensation reminded me of how my mouth had felt during a night when I had consumed far too many flaming Sambuca's (alcohol).
The group had their exorcisms. I was pleased to sit back and watch; in fact a rather sadistic part of me was actually excited. Two of the girls had entities trapped in their auric fields, which appeared to cause some discomfort when Ibu made contact. A couple of the girls were also completely entity free; we put this down to the fact that they both practice Reiki and both advocate and use protection, self-care and cleansing (the spiritual kind that is).
Sam had an entity trapped in the lower part of his right thigh. I felt for the guy as he yelled out. It's great to see Sam flourish and begin to open more and more through the duration of this journey. I feel not just privileged but honoured to bear witness to all these people and bow in admiration of the differing journeys that can be had, felt; experienced on the same trip.
Dharma had a pretty big entity; he whaled and roared on the floor. I felt for him as he rose up again and again in searing pain. When she returned to the spot in question I could feel my inner voice plead, "oh no don't go back, not again". I was fully conscious though, having experienced it myself that the pain and discomfort Dharma was feeling wasn't a negative pain but a growthful; positive kind - if there can be such a thing.
My experience was that the pain was immediate; there was no thought involved just an involuntary response to it. When the area was left the pain completely disappeared without trace. When the exorcism was complete I for one felt a whole lot lighter. I felt more comfortable in my own skin and the pain in my heel has still not returned. As I watched Dharma my heart was smiling for on some inexplicable level I knew this was so wholesome for him.
The sky overhead was transforming too, pearlescent tones glimmered displaying a showcase of configurations. Soon these light pastels had transformed; consumed by a fury of scarlet.
As we sat in prayer at the Durga temple I felt something brush passed me. The sensation was different; the presence was one I was not yet familiar with. I felt dizzy; my nerves raw.
It was like I had been swallowed by a wave; I was lost, out of control, being tumbled over and under, bottom up, head down. In this moment I had lost all sight of my comfort zone; a satellite spinning uncontrollably without orbit.
Aspects of being here or rather, being caught up in this sensation seemed obscurely familiar. I'm not sure of the connection but it reminded me of a recurring nightmare I had throughout my childhood. In fact in times of enhanced stress I still experience that nightmare even as an adult. The thing about that dream is I don't have any visual representation I only have the sensations; the sensation of my heart racing, panic; an uncontrollable fear. Perhaps this is why I'm fearful of opening up to experiencing in such a way.
Being sat in the Durga temple triggered something very similar but at no point did I want to escape or run away; at no point could I actually say I was fearful or afraid. My experience was just one of wanting to wait and see; to wait and see.
As the trance played out my head began to dissolve, I was literally melting away; becoming invisible; I was starting to not exist. I rested the remainder of my head onto my knee; it dropped straight through. My whole physical body was losing structure.
In a dazed state we made our way to a second temple, the trance had stayed with me. The second temple was more rugged; although it was dark I could make out trees; the ground was somewhat overgrown and unkempt. The place felt alive, it was as if we had stepped into a playground; a place where nature's spirits danced free.
As the Priest recited a series of mantras my body started moving; the energy was building. I was fighting the desire to cry out; there was part of me that really wanted to wail. As I started to tilt backwards my right arm shot out in front of me. Something grabbed hold of my clenched fist and maintained me in an upright position.
Some force had me hold. As the energy worked in I was being driven by my right fist. It coiled me around, pulled me and expelled me. My body undulated back and forth, back and forth. At times some of the lunges were more intense than others.
Suddenly I was following my own fist up to the heavens. My body was being stretched to enormity. I could hear shouts and roars from nearby but I was in a place unaffected by such distractions.
As the trance was broken I felt lost, like I'd just been spat out of something. In both temples tonight I felt I had touched upon a nemesis and I'm not entirely sure how I make sense of that.
As we walked back along the stream to the ashram I felt silenced. No part of me wanted to engage or talk, it wasn't like I was consciously withdrawing it's just I didn't feel I had anything to say and I certainly didn't feel in a position to explain what had occurred.
When we arrived back at the hotel I was ravenous, I wanted some red meat. Thankfully everyone else was also hungry and thankfully steak was on the menu.